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I watched President Obama's press conference on security yesterday afternoon, the one in which he said that he's going to clean up this security mess -- or lack of security -- that almost resulted in a catastrophe on that Northwest jet on Christmas day. I think we all feel that someone in Washington had better start kicking some butt if our national security apparatus is actually going to make us more secure.
I've been giving it some thought and I think I can help the president on this. And, by the way, at the same time put some money into the federal coffers.
Remember Richard what's-his-name, the infamous shoe bomber who tried to bring a plane down nine years ago by igniting explosives in his shoes? And remember what security measures were taken after that episode? Yes, now all of us must take off our shoes as we walk through security check points at airports.
Well, if we put two and two together it's obvious what's going to happen now. Since our latest fanatic had explosives sewn into his underwear you can bet that in the next few days TSA is going to mandate that we all have to take off our underpants and have them x-rayed as we go through security.
I know some will certainly say this is a clear violation of privacy. But isn't the shoe policy a violation of privacy? After all, everyone gets to see your bunions and the holes in your socks.
But rest assured that there really shouldn't be any problems with the new policy. In fact, I've heard from a highly placed administration source that since the shoe policy has already set a precedent, the underpants policy should fly through without a problem.
But I think we should take this whole thing even further and get all those new see-you-naked xray machines funded by the private sector. I hope the folks at TSA are listening since this could save some big bucks.
Since we already sell naming rights to sports stadiums, why not just also sell naming rights to the xray machines? Just think of the money it will bring in and the marketing possibilities..."Fruit of the Loom welcomes you to Newark Airport"..."Calvin Kline reminds you to put your laptop and underpants in separate bins"..."Welcome to Security Portal 34D, Sponsored by Victoria's Secret"...
Well, Mr. President, there's one less problem for you to worry about.
Jim Ferri
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If you're stymied once again as what to get that special someone for Christmas, I've solved your problem.
Time magazine has come out with its Best & Worst Lists, including its Top 10 Odd Spa Treatments. Believe me, these treatments are the perfect gift for any traveler.
If you're headed for the Czech Republic there's a beer bath right outside Prague at the Chodovar Family Brewery. $35 will get you a 20-minutes soak in the tub, the contents of which I presume you can't drink or, for that matter, would want to.
At the Hotel Heubad Spa in the Italian Alps give your loved one a roll in the hay -- moist, fermenting hay heated to 104 degrees -- for about 20 minutes. According to the hotel it will soothe their aches and pains and stimulate their metabolism.
If you're heading for Israel, who would want to miss the opportunity to enjoy a snake massage at the Ada Barak Northern Israel spa? So soothing...great big slithering corn and king snakes and smaller milk snakes kneading muscles all over your body. There's no word yet whether you can walk out with a new set of pumps or a bag once the $70 session is over.
At the Sampuoton Spa in Malaysia get a fish massage as tiny garra rufa -- little silvery-black creatures nicknamed "doctor fish" -- nibble away at tough skin flakes on your feet. Customers emerge post-treatment with smoother, softer skin and a wallet $50 lighter.
If you're patriotic and only want to buy American, you may want to opt for the Caviar Pedicure ($100) at Boston's Spa Newbury, or the 24-Carat Gold Facial at the Nidah Spa ($500) at the Eldorado Hotel in Santa Fe. Or, since all fun things happen in California, head for Lancer Dermatology in Beverly Hills for a "Placenta Facial" (with another whopping price tag of $500) or a Snake Venom Facial ($385) at the Sonya Dakar Skin Clinic in Los Angeles. Clients there include Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna and Demi Moore.
The best, though, is left for last -- a Bird Poo Facial at the Hotel Wailea Spa on Maui in Hawaii. Yes folks, for only $225 you can enjoy 80-minutes worth of fun having pulverized nightingale poop smeared all over your face.
According to Time, nightingale poop is a well-kept Japanese beauty secret -- geishas and Kabuki actors used it to repair skin damage caused by heavy makeup use -- and it "bleaches the skin [and] helps to exfoliate, which then prevents blemishes," says one of the therapists. But you had better have a well-feathered nest for this -- it's recommended that you get the $225 treatment every week.
On the other hand, if you've been hard hit by the recession you could just go to your local pet store and buy a canary for in-home weekly treatments for your loved one.
Jim Ferri
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Our agency, Ferri & Partners, is known for its innovative work in social media especially in the tourism industry. (For the uninitiated, social media is Twitter, blogs like this one, YouTube and all that "other stuff" you can use to communicate one-to-one with others via your computer, cell phone, etc.).
For example, a few years back we broke ground in the use of social media on the website of Tourism Ireland -- the first use of SM on the website of an international tourist board. We continue our work with it today since it is also a great marketing tool -- just as long as you use it right. (Okay, enough of the commercial).
I say this since from my perspective some people just don't know when, and when not, to use it. In regard to the latter, a Maryland groom stopped his wedding ceremony last month -- no, not at the reception but right on there on the altar as he was saying his "I do's" -- when he pulled out his cell phone to update his Twitter and Facebook accounts. But perhaps I'm too hasty to judge -- perhaps he was just notifying all his ex-girlfriends.
According to Reuters:
Dana Hanna, who works for a pet website, also posted a short video of the ceremony on the Internet. It showed him reaching into his pocket for his phone as the minister was about to pronounce the couple husband and wife.
The video has had more than 350,000 views.
"Oh, Dana is updating his relationship status on Facebook," the minister said as the audience at the wedding laughed.
After Hanna finished twittering he continued the ceremony.
"As I was saying, I now pronounce you husband and wife. It's now official on Facebook. It's official in my book. Dana you may kiss your bride."
Hanna, who lists his profession on the networking site LinkedIn as chief architect at Next Day Pets, described his reaction to the ceremony on his YouTube account the day after the ceremony.
"I surprised not only my guests, but also Tracy (his wife) by pulling out my phone and posting on Facebook and Twitter from the altar during out wedding," he said.
Click here to see the video.
Jim Ferri
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