The Passing of A Great Friend
November 2, 2010 | Uncategorized
I know this isn’t a travel story, and I hope you’ll excuse that. But then again, Dusty, our Labrador Retriever, was my travel companion on several long trips.
We had to put Dusty to sleep this morning. And it was a gut-wrenching experience. If you have a pet you know it will come someday but you’re never prepared for it.
Years ago as a kid I remember my father bringing home the World-Telegram and Sun newspaper at night and I got to reading a “human interest” column in it. I probably only read it because it was in the back by the comics but, anyway, the columnist once wrote about his pet dying and his great grief at the time, and why he cried more on the death of his dog than he did when his parents passed away.
I remember him writing that he thought it was because his parents had long lives and he was the recipient of their care, but with his pet he was the caregiver. He was the one who provided food and safety and happiness, and protected this small being that couldn’t care for itself.
I felt the same about Dusty, the one so many called “the gentle giant.” Anytime he saw a kid crying he’d bolt for him or her, lick their face and sit leaning up against them until someone came. Somehow he liked children even more than other dogs.
He and I bonded a lot over the past 12½ years, as he did with my wife Marjorie after she stole our hearts. He meant so much to me that I couldn’t ever bring myself to see the movie “Marley and Me” because I knew Marley died at the end.
Today though, it’s as if that long-forgotten columnist has reached out of the past to make me feel the awful pain of the present. It’s really a lousy, empty feeling that keeps you on the edge of tears. And I worry about Marjorie also, since I have to leave on an extended trip tomorrow and she’s still in such pain, as well
So thanks for always being there for me Dusty, especially during the really hard times.
Maybe someday I can go see “Marley and Me,” but not now. But whenever it is I know I’ll still need a lot of Kleenex.
Jim Ferri
11 Responses to “The Passing of A Great Friend”
Dad -
Dusty was an incredible dog, friend, and protector. He would do anything and everything you told him. He never wanted to leave your side. I can still remember you wrestling with the kids, and Dusty would run in, wedge himself between all of you, and stand over the kids to protect them from big, bad, mean ol’ Papa. He was such a good sport too. How many other dogs would allow a five year old to train them to jump through a hoop?? He learned it well and performed it over and over to the glee of my children (ok, and us). Dusty is my “brother”, and I miss him terribly. Rest in peace, Puppy. I love you.
By Kimi on Nov 2, 2010
I’m sorry. I know how hard it is. But think of how enriched your life was for knowing him and how much he made you smile and carry that with you always.
Love you!
By Marie on Nov 2, 2010
Oh. MY. GOODNESS, Uncle Jimmy. I don’t even KNOW what to say. I am well-aware what a special place Dusty had in your heart, and your home. I just feel HORRIBLE that you are going through this right now.
That picture of him, and Megan, is so incredibly precious, it immediately made me cry.
I just LOVE how you included this human interest story on/in your blog. For those who may not know you well, personally, it will really strike a chord; I don’t know anyone who hasn’t lost a pet. And, yes, it’s an empty feeling. The reasoning you shared (caregiver, vs. receiver) seems spot on.
I’m going to head over to my dog right now, and snuggle with her… while whispering in her ear how much she means to our family.
Thinking of all of you… safe travels, and I’m so terribly sorry (again) to hear about Dusty’s loss. Please send my best to “your wife”, Marjorie.
xoxoxo
By Kat Schneider Fotheringham on Nov 2, 2010
Jim, my heartfelt condolences to you and your wife on the passing of your beloved Dusty. Sadly, I am all too familiar with saying goodbye to a loved animal; it never gets easier, and the void they leave is always there. Our pets are truly gifts from God, and I’m happy that you got to experience the love of this wonderful creature. I hope you are re-united one day.
By Anne Rose on Nov 2, 2010
I am so sorry for your loss. Please go get the book, The Last Will and Testament of a Distinguished Dog. I promise it will bring both you and Marjorie comfort. I lost my Big Yellow boy Sundance several years ago, and it was about the only thing that was able to bring me any type of comfort.
One other thing, do NOT go see Marley & Me…ever. Trust me.
Again, I am so sorry for you losing your Dusty.
By Laura Musgrave on Nov 2, 2010
Jim,
I really know how you feel. Our first dog, Chip, a French Poodle my sisters and I rescued in a blizzard one winter in NY traveled with our family on vacation numerous times, even as far as Montreal, Canada. Scooter, our 4-year old Mini Schnauzer, was our wonderful recent travel companion on a California road trip along the coast. Dogs make great travel companions. I highly recommend a heart-warming book written from the dog’s perspective, “The Art of Racing in the Rain” which is better and more uplifting than “Marley and Me” in my opinion. R.I.P Dusty.
Carol
By Carol Epstein on Nov 2, 2010
Dear Jim and Marjorie,
My heart aches for you. I, too, have lost a friend. I had the good luck of knowing Dusty over all these years, being the recipient of his affectionate and caring ways. I can very well imagine how strongly you will miss him. Be strong and grateful for the times you shared – he accomplished his mission of bringing you together and bringing you such good companionship and joy. He knew he could now leave in peace.
We lost a pet this week, too – our long-time companion, Sid (Vicious). Blair had to euthanize him, on Halloween – an appropriate evening for our wise and furry black brother of a cat to leave this life. (Nineteen-year old Mini, our wonder dog, is still bouncing along, and Adelaide, the whiny cat is still meowhining). Dogs and cats are amazing creatures, we´re so lucky to have them in our midst. Today, of course, is the Day of the Dead in Mexico, when we remember all those we have lost, two-legged and four-legged. So here´s to you, dear Dusty, you live on in our hearts and memories.
Un fuerte abrazo,
Greg
By Gregory Leddy on Nov 3, 2010
Marjorie & Jim,
Having to cope with a loss of a pet and the
grief of Dog loss myself on more than one
occasion, I know how you and Marjorie feel.
There is a special group of people out there
who open there hearts to a pet as you and
Marjorie so did with Dusty. You became a
family, and the passing of any family member
can be a painfull experience. You did all
things possible for Dusty to keep him
comfortable and pain free.
Dusty is happy now and in a better place,
and will forever be in all of our hearts.
Ralph
By Ralph on Nov 3, 2010
Dear Jim,
We are deeply sorry for what has happened…
Dusty was a very special dog, and we will always remember him!
He brought happiness and a smile to everyone around him. I felt like his second mum, after Marjorie, and he knew how much I loved him. We use to play ball and sleep together, and I still can see him with his big eyes looking at me, standing next to my side of the bed, every night, just saying “good night”.
Good Night my dear Dusty, I hope one day we’ll meet again.
You are really going to be missed….
Love,
Domenica
By Domenica on Nov 3, 2010
Dusty, my dearest friend… my companion since we moved to 1000 Venetian…
We played, we barked, we walked together, we had meals and holidays together…
and most of all, we had fun with our parents…
I am going to miss you very much!
Kozmo
By Domenica on Nov 3, 2010
Thank you to all of you who have reached out and sent us messages — not only to those above but the scores of others who sent private emails — your thoughts and remembrances are very special and very appreciated.
Jim
By Jim Ferri on Nov 4, 2010