Save the Mermaids

June 14, 2010 | Uncategorized

I’ve been in the hotel marketing and public relations business for years, which is why I had to stop and re-read a recent article I saw.

According to the BBC, the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Copenhagen is offering a meal voucher worth about US$36 for any guest who hops on one of the hotel’s exercise bikes – which is attached to a generator – and produces electricity for the hotel. This hotel, by the way, also produces electricity with solar panels on its facade.

“Interesting promotion,” I thought.

A hotel spokesperson says the program is the first of it’s kind in the world. If it’s successful after a one-year test run, Crowne Plaza expects to launch it in all of their hotels in the UK.

This is just the type of thinking that’s destined to save our world or, at the very least, stop the Danes from pawning the Little Mermaid to pay their electric bills.

Unfortunately, though, it doesn’t go far enough. If Crowne Plaza was really serious about being green they’d be thinking bigger. Much bigger.

For example, why not also use the hotel’s revolving doors to augment the building’s air conditioning? As a parent I can guarantee you there will be no lack of adults willing to donate three-year-old children to the effort for a minimum of 12 hours every day. Perhaps even 20 hours.

And what about all that plumbing? Couldn’t swimmers in the hotel pool generate enough water current to flush the hotel’s toilets? Just tie their ankles to a bungee cord or something at the end of the pool.

And let’s not forget about those sex-crazed Scandinavians – why not put special springs in their beds to siphon off all that body heat and send it to someplace where it’s needed. Like Sweden.

Anyway, you’ll need to peddle about 15 minutes to generate the required 10 watt hours to get your voucher. That comes out to about $144 for an hour’s work which shows just how expensive it is to generate electricity or make beer in Denmark.

So enough about saving the whales. They’ve had their chance.

Do some good and go save a mermaid.

Jim Ferri