Coming to An Airport Near You: “Brain-Fingerprinting”
December 16, 2008 | Uncategorized
You’re not going to believe this: the Transportation Security Administration is thinking of ways to reduce your time going through airport security. Well, they’re not actually trying to reduce your wait time, they’re just trying to come up with new security methods and the offshoot will be they will reduce your wait on line.
And you’ll never guess what they want to do. One of the things on the drawing board is to stop xraying carryon bags and instead study the emotions of passengers.
Of course, like any sane person the first thought that popped into my mind is what will they do will all those moving belts you put your bags on? But that’s another issue.
This whole thing is already well along, according to CNN. TSA has given grants to a company to develop the system. It is an Israeli company — Israel has become a leader in the development of security technology in recent years, for obvious reasons — and the company is named WeCU (pronounced “we see you“), for probably the same obvious reasons.
Just how all this works is interesting — it is a combination of infra-red technology, remote sensors and imagers, and flashing of subliminal images such as, suggests CNN, a photo of Osama bin Laden. The developers say by bundling these technologies together they can “detect a person’s reaction to certain stimuli by reading body temperature, heart rate and respiration, signals a terrorist unwittingly emits before he plans to commit an attack.”
This new technology has been labeled as ‘brain-fingerprinting,’ although considering some people I’ve encountered at the airport lately I think TSA may wind up with some pretty dull images.
On the other hand, I do think airports could borrow the machines during slack periods and flash subliminal images of donuts and pizzas and then take a cut of the tsunami-like rise in business at Dunkin’ Donuts. This would certainly help underwrite the cost of running the terminal and save taxpayers money.
Another option the folks at WeCU are offering is a “smart seat,” something that’s probably a distant relative of the whoopee cushion. This is a cushion full of hidden biometric sensors that could provide a very detailed read on someone sitting in an airport waiting area. Can’t you just hear the chatter back at the cushion console at Department of Homeland Security now? “Hey Charlie, the fidgeting guy we’re watching at Gate 5 — I think he just has to go to the bathroom.”
Jim Ferri
